Your mission should you choose to accept it, is to enter a police station while wearing ski masks and armed with Tec-9. Make your way down to the evidence locker, hold your gun to the head of the evidence officer all without arousing suspicion.

Am I crazy or is something not right here? I’m all for the suspension of disbelief, but this one goes a little far… people wearing ski masks in Florida? Isn’t Florida a little warm for people to be wearing ski masks?

So it seems a man by the name of John Claassen is suing our favorite unsponsor, eHarmony, because they won’t take him because he’s married. Boo-Hoo. If Mr. Claassen had been a regular reader of our site he would of known that they don’t take everyone and he shouldn’t feel to sad, since there is always our other unsponsor, Match dot com.

All that aside, am I crazy or is John Claassen an idiot? If a 12 er 100 year old girl can figure out how to get on myspace, then surely a 36 year old married single man can figure out how to get on eHarmony. He’s a lawyer after all, can’t he can come up with a creative definition of what the phrase “until your divorce is official” means?

That’s a nice pile of change Harry almost enough to make you the King of the Pirates. But am I crazy or did no one teach you or your parents about power compound interest?

Mr. Potter is 12 in this movie. So if he started with 100 coins with an interest rate of…

Oh No! The geometry final is TOMMOROW! What every shall I do? Where every shall I go?! I know! I’ll go to this homework help site they are advertising on Discovery Channel called cosmeo.com….

What a minute, I’m asian! Am I crazy or something? Why am I worrying? I should be as supremely confident as my blond friend.

Apparently, the most common way people come across this website is due to THIS picture, which is from the site formerly known as amicrazy.com. Forget it guys, this isn’t her website and I’m not giving you her email address. Plus, you have NO CHANCE, NO CHANCE AT ALL…

For better luck try one of our unsponsors.

The new management of my apartment complex is in the process of repainting the units in anticipation of converting them to condos. A few weeks ago THIS color began appearing.

At first I was hoping that it was just a base coat, and they were going to paint it some sane color, but as of today several building share the same shade of, um, green. Am I crazy or this color a tad um… pukeish?

DEEP BLUE SEA: The Kingdom of The Seven Sea’s: — ….A North Korean cargo ship… was sunk Thursday… Australian air force… the sinking of the ship showed Australia’s resolve to fight drug trafficking….

Am I crazy or is Australia full of it? First everyone knows that Australia or any other nation with enough money to buy a fancy Firebolt 1000 Deluxe Anti Ship Missile Extreme Edition will never use them to stop a drug smuggling ship. First, despite being Extreme you can never be sure if they are going to hit what you are aiming at, if it’s a Friday missile, you are pretty much screwed. Second, you run the risk of succeeding and once the drugged up masses come off their high, they are going to be pretty pissed. Pissed enough to pillage, riot and worst VOTE! And we all know voting leads to fear, fear leads to anger and anger leads to the dark side…

Fear not, our bold spacecraft commander has once again solved the crime! Finding a key piece of evidence, a bloody fingerprint, on a bill from a museum vending machine… Only problem, they find it on a TWENTY dollar bill.

Am I crazy or is a TWENTY dollar bill a little large for a pack of MnM? Did the prop room run out of one dollar bills? Or is Mark Furman up to his old tricks and working for the NYPD now?

So, there is this commercial running on TV. I’m sure many of you have seen it, the one where a girl comes running up to her dad and asks for $80. The daughter explains that she just has to have this pair of jeans that EVERYONE is wearing, so dad quickly buys some stock in the company making the jeans and then hands his daughter $80.

Am I crazy or is Mr. Ameritrade not the most savvy of investors? Investing on a tip from your teenage daughter? Pl-ezese…

Let me break it down for you pops…

1. When Ameritrade Daughter says EVERYONE has a pair she really means just three other people do.
2. Things, especially for the teen crowd, go in and out of popularity faster then… well you can insert your own favorite euphemism here. I was going to go with jackrabbit, but that really doesn’t give you the trust of my argument.
3. DO invest in modeling and acting lessons for Ameritrade Daughter, she’s cute, and could easily land the role of say, a teenage daughter asking her dad for money, because she just has to have this pair jeans…