Oh the alcohol in Lindsay Lohan’s cup goes down her throat!
Down her throat! Down her throat!
Oh the alcohol in Lindsay Lohan’s cup goes down her throat!
As long as she’s at a bar!

Oh the cocaine in Lindsay Lohan’s pockets goes up her nose!
Up her nose! Up her nose!
Oh the cocaine in Lindsay Lohan’s pockets goes up her nose!
All night long!

Oh the SUV driven by Lindsay Lohan goes honk honk honk!
Honk honk honk! Honk honk honk!
Oh the SUV driven by Lindsay Lohan goes honk honk honk!
All around the town!

Oh the woman being chased by Lindsay Lohan dials 9-1-1!
9-1-1! 9-1-1!
Oh the woman being chased by Lindsay Lohan dials 9-1-1!
As she tries to run!

Oh the police in Santa Monica read Lindsay her Miranda rights!
Miranda rights! Miranda rights!
Oh the police in Santa Monica read Lindsay her Miranda rights!
As she’s booked into jail!