Am I crazy or should Alyson Hannigan not go outside without make up on?

This is the abomination! Don’t you know you are a celebrity?! You are supposed to present an unrealistic image of beauty to the world!

Am I crazy or does Tom Cruise really like the number 11?

Tom’s first divorce was in 1990. 11 years later…
Tom second divorce was in 2001.

Tom’s first wife was Mimi Rogers. (Born: 1956)
Tom’s second wife was Nicole Kidman (Born: 1967), 11 years later
Tom’s third was is Katie Holmes (Born: 1978), 11 years later.

The average number of letters in the name Tom’s wives: 11
Number of letters on Tom’s full name (Thomas Cruise Mapother IV): 22 (11×2)
Number of letters in the first movie he stared (Endless Love): 11

Oh! Katie bear what have you done!?

Nooo!

Oh the alcohol in Lindsay Lohan’s cup goes down her throat!
Down her throat! Down her throat!
Oh the alcohol in Lindsay Lohan’s cup goes down her throat!
As long as she’s at a bar!

Oh the cocaine in Lindsay Lohan’s pockets goes up her nose!
Up her nose! Up her nose!
Oh the cocaine in Lindsay Lohan’s pockets goes up her nose!
All night long!

Oh the SUV driven by Lindsay Lohan goes honk honk honk!
Honk honk honk! Honk honk honk!
Oh the SUV driven by Lindsay Lohan goes honk honk honk!
All around the town!

Oh the woman being chased by Lindsay Lohan dials 9-1-1!
9-1-1! 9-1-1!
Oh the woman being chased by Lindsay Lohan dials 9-1-1!
As she tries to run!

Oh the police in Santa Monica read Lindsay her Miranda rights!
Miranda rights! Miranda rights!
Oh the police in Santa Monica read Lindsay her Miranda rights!
As she’s booked into jail!

According to CNN:

Paris Hilton told CNN’s Larry King on Wednesday that she has never used drugs, isn’t a big drinker. Paris Hilton said she has emerged from jail determined to eliminate bad friends from her life.

No drugs? Not a big drinker? Eliminate bad friends? Un-Oh, she can only mean LINDSEY LOHAN your not her friend anymore!!!

Let’s Review…

Paris: I don’t do drugs
Lohan: Mmm… Cocaine! Me likey!

Paris: I don’t drink lot
Lohan: Mmm… Breakfast wine! Me likey!

Am I crazy or is this more typical of the type of status report you get from Houston?

Paris Hilton was doing well after spending her first night of her probation sentence in solitary confinement at a Los Angeles County jail, her lawyer said Monday.

All I have to say is…. WIMP…

Stuntman David Blaine failed to break the world record for holding his breath underwater on Monday, falling nearly two minutes short of the record. After Blaine spent seven minutes and 8 seconds underwater without any breathing apparatus, he blacked out… the world record for holding one’s breath underwater is eight minutes, 58 seconds.

Am I crazy or should someone trying to break the world record would, you know, train for it… This is like someone running the 100 meter dash in 12.21 seconds, when the world record is 9.77 seconds. Hell, at 12.21 seconds even some of the special olympics kids are going to be you… Sorry Blaine, you are a WIMP.

Am I crazy or does Giada De Laurentiis have an abnormally large forehead? She also seems to have an unusually large number of teeth… And that smile… I’ve seen that smile before… doesn’t that smile kind of reminds you of….

Yup! That’s it! What kind of name is Giada anyway? Giada makes me think of Giardia, something you really don’t want to eat, not that Giada De Laurentiis needs to eat all that much… afterall, she’s no Rachel Ray… $40 ought to last her a week…