Am I crazy or is this doctor’s excuse just a bit of a stretch.

A dentist accused of fondling the breasts of 27 female patients is trying to keep his dental license by arguing that chest massages are an appropriate procedure in certain cases.

Police say Anderson said during recorded phone calls that he routinely massaged patients’ chests to treat temporo-mandibular joint disorder, or TMJ.

Yes, appropriate in cases such as breast augmentation. But TMJ? That’s a stretch, cause you know…

The jaw bone is connected to the, cranium bone.
The cranium bone is connected to the, cervical vertebrae bones.
The cervical vertebrae bones are connected to the, thoracic vertebrae bones!
The thoracic vertebrae bones are connected to the, Rib Bone!
and The Rib Bone is Connected to the Breast!!

A long, long time ago…
I can still remember
How punctuation used to make me smile.
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could use an ellipses or two
And, maybe, they’d be happy for a while.

But the Oxford English Dictionary made me shiver
With every paper I’d deliver.
Bad news on the doorstep;
I couldn’t take one more step.

I can’t remember if I cried
When I saw the words got squeezed,
But something touched me deep inside
The day the hyphen died…

Oh the alcohol in Lindsay Lohan’s cup goes down her throat!
Down her throat! Down her throat!
Oh the alcohol in Lindsay Lohan’s cup goes down her throat!
As long as she’s at a bar!

Oh the cocaine in Lindsay Lohan’s pockets goes up her nose!
Up her nose! Up her nose!
Oh the cocaine in Lindsay Lohan’s pockets goes up her nose!
All night long!

Oh the SUV driven by Lindsay Lohan goes honk honk honk!
Honk honk honk! Honk honk honk!
Oh the SUV driven by Lindsay Lohan goes honk honk honk!
All around the town!

Oh the woman being chased by Lindsay Lohan dials 9-1-1!
9-1-1! 9-1-1!
Oh the woman being chased by Lindsay Lohan dials 9-1-1!
As she tries to run!

Oh the police in Santa Monica read Lindsay her Miranda rights!
Miranda rights! Miranda rights!
Oh the police in Santa Monica read Lindsay her Miranda rights!
As she’s booked into jail!

Did anyone else read this?

A man who lost his ball in a golf course pond nearly lost a limb when a nearly 11-foot alligator latched on to his arm and pulled him in the water…the one-eyed alligator, which measured 10 feet, 11 inches.

Well I saw the thing comin’ out of the sky.
It had one long horn, one big eye.
I commenced to shakin’ and I said,”Ooh-eee”
It looks like a purple people eater to me.
It was a one-eyed, one-horned, flyin’ purple people eater…
One-eyed, one-horned, flyin’ purple people eater…
A one-eyed one-horned, flyin’ purple people eater…
Sure looks strange to me.

There is a hole in my spaceship, dear NASA, dear NASA.
There is a hole in my spaceship, dear NASA, dear NASA.

Then fix it dear astronaut, dear astronaut, dear astronaut.
Then fix it dear astronaut, dear astronaut, dear astronaut.

With what shall I fix it, dear NASA, dear NASA?
With what shall I fix it, dear NASA, dear NASA?

With woven aluminia, dear astronaut, dear astronaut, dear astronaut.
With woven aluminia, dear astronaut, dear astronaut, dear astronaut.

The woven aluminia is too big, dear NASA, dear NASA?
The woven aluminia is too big, dear NASA, dear NASA?

Then cut it, dear astronaut, dear astronaut, dear astronaut.
Then cut it, dear astronaut, dear astronaut, dear astronaut.

With what shall I cut it, dear NASA, dear NASA?
With what shall I cut it, dear NASA, dear NASA?

With diamond coated scissors, dear astronaut, dear astronaut, dear astronaut?
With diamond coated scissors, dear astronaut, dear astronaut, dear astronaut?

How shall I get diamond coated scissors, dear NASA, dear NASA?
How shall I get diamond coated scissors, dear NASA, dear NASA?

By landing, dear astronaut, dear astronaut, dear astronaut.
By landing, dear astronaut, dear astronaut, dear astronaut.

How do I land, dear NASA, dear NASA?
How do I land, dear NASA, dear NASA?

With a spaceship, dear astronaut, dear astronaut, dear astronaut.
With a spaceship, dear astronaut, dear astronaut, dear astronaut.

There is a hole in my spaceship dear NASA, dear NASA.
There is a hole in my spaceship dear NASA, dear NASA.

He went down, down, down and the flames went higher,
And it burned, burned, burned,
his balls on fire,
his balls on fire.

Did anyone read this?

Hungarian builders who drank their way to the bottom of a huge barrel of rum while renovating a house got a nasty surprise when a pickled corpse tumbled out of the empty barrel…

Am I crazy or is the dead man not supposed to be part of the rum… lets now…

Fifteen men on a dead man’s chest

Ok, that’s either fifteen little men, or one big dead man…

Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum

The RUM!

Drink and the devil had done for the rest
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.

More rum please…

The mate was fixed by the bosun’s pike

Admittedly, I had to look up bosun in the dictionary…

The bosun brained with a marlinspike

Yeah, I had to look up marlinspike too…

And cookey’s throat was marked belike

and belike… Yea, I’m dumb slow.

It had been gripped by fingers ten;
And there they lay, all good dead men
Like break o’day in a boozing ken
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.

Yup, nothing about mixing drinks with a dead man…

Although, A Dead Hungarian isn’t a bad name for a drink…

A Dead Hungarian

4 oz Rum
Twist of Dead Man

Mix in a highball glass two-thirds full of ice. Stir briskly and serve.

In your Chernobyl bonnet,
with all the radioactivity upon it.
You’ll be the two headed lady,
in the Chernobyl Day Parade.
I’ll be all in seven leaf clover,
and when they look us over,
we’ll be the most mutated people
in the Chernobyl Day Parade.
On the avenue, Fifth Avenue,
The photographers will snap us.
Oh, I could write a sonnet,
about your Chernobyl bonnet,
And of the girl? that I’m taking
to the Chernobyl Day Parade

Am I Crazy would like to wish all it’s readers a Happy 20th Chernobyl Day… Remember to glow green or your gonna get pinched!